Ever since coming to New York, I can thoroughly say I’ve become more childlike. The other day as I unpacked my lunch – apples and peanut butter, slices of pepper and carrots, and Goldfish – that many of my meals have turned into what most kids would consider “snack time.”
I’ve often been compared to an old man because I get really excited at animals like buffleheads (see last post), dress poorly, and go to bed early, but all of these stereotypically elderly things are also stereotypical childish. Being grumpy? Yeah, kids do that well. Inability to dress oneself? Mhm. Going to bed earlier than intended because you got unexpectedly sleepy? Greg, you are basically eight.
Given my apparent reversion into elementary school, I would like to highlight some things I could do as I kid I would like to be able to do again:
Fit in cabinets
Eat bags of candy without feeling sick
Be encouraged to take daily naps
Talk to myself and have it be proof that I’m creative and not just proof of my impending insanity
Say inappropriate things and be told that it’s cute*
*Note: as a gay man you sort of get to do this. Like, when a gay man calls a woman a “Stupid b!#$*” it’s considered sassy, witty, and primetime sitcom fun!
Relatively Awesome 