One man's attempt at literacy

Tag Archives: Insane

Ever since coming to New York, I can thoroughly say I’ve become more childlike. The other day as I unpacked my lunch – apples and peanut butter, slices of pepper and carrots, and Goldfish – that many of my meals have turned into what most kids would consider “snack time.”

I’ve often been compared to an old man because I get really excited at animals like buffleheads (see last post), dress poorly, and go to bed early, but all of these stereotypically elderly things are also stereotypical childish. Being grumpy? Yeah, kids do that well. Inability to dress oneself? Mhm. Going to bed earlier than intended because you got unexpectedly sleepy? Greg, you are basically eight.

Given my apparent reversion into elementary school, I would like to highlight some things I could do as I kid I would like to be able to do again:

Fit in cabinets

Eat bags of candy without feeling sick

Be encouraged to take daily naps

Talk to myself and have it be proof that I’m creative and not just proof of my impending insanity

Say inappropriate things and be told that it’s cute*

*Note: as a gay man you sort of get to do this. Like, when a gay man calls a woman a “Stupid b!#$*” it’s considered sassy, witty, and primetime sitcom fun!

So, I’m trying to write a terrible novel for National Novel Writing Month. The purpose of this is to just belt out a 50k word novel in one month, and even without editing that takes a sizable chunk of time and your mental capacity. This is the first 1000 words. I’ll try to have a real blog later but for now deal with seeing something that was done quickly!

This will be the next great American novel! And it will be truly sad for America.

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