One man's attempt at literacy

Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

Well folks, it’s over again; Christmas has come and gone. If you want, you can spend today frantically taking down the decorations because, well, it’s just so blasé to leave them up when the holiday is over. Or, if you’re a more sane person, you can take a deep breath and celebrate my favorite holiday with me: Leftover Day.

Leftover Day is, truly, the most wonderful time of the year. Maybe I just say this as someone who, despite being a pagan, has always held Christmas in such veneration that my expectations couldn’t possibly be met — I generally enjoyed the days leading up to the holiday more than the holiday itself, those magic times where you seem to have no worries and don’t have to interact with any drunk relatives or worry about cooking a meal for ten people who are drinking while you’re trying not to touch the giblets. But I’d like to think my feelings are justified. I mean, who hasn’t had a moment during Christmas where they want to throttle someone? Who hasn’t been asked to carve the turkey and had to bite their tongue from responding, “I’d like to carve YOU!!!”?

“I’ll show YOU how to mash the potatoes!”

What is Leftover Day, you may ask? You actually probably don’t ask that since it’s pretty self explanatory but I’ll still tell you. Leftover Day is the day after Christmas — or any holiday where you worked and dealt with family all day. This year I actually celebrated Leftover Day in November — and you just blob it up. Just chill the hell out, all day. No unnecessary moving, no dealing with family unless you want it, and lots of eating of the fruits of your labor from the day before. If your grandma calls to continue guilting you from yesterday and you just pretend your phone was run over by a car. More than that, one of my biggest complaints about Christmas is I always get games for presents but then I’m not actually allowed to play them because I need to “talk” to “family.” Pfah! Leftover Day is the day where you do whatever you want. No ritual, no obligations, just stuffing your face with fixings from the day before.

This is what a successful Leftover Day looks like.

Sure, Christmas is great. It has its moments. But Leftover Day is pure, unadulterated glee, where you decide the agenda, not because the day is about you so much as the day isn’t about anything. I hope I’ve inspired you to enjoy this Leftover Day. Go sit down, eat something delicious already-made food (may I suggest turkey, cheddar, and cranberry sauce on a day old roll?), see whoever you desire.

Happy Leftover Day!!!