One man's attempt at literacy

Tag Archives: Personality

A few years ago, when I was in high school, I’d take many, many dumb online quizzes. There were few things to do online that could so thoroughly engross me as, “Which TV Show Sidekick Are You?” or “Which Power Ranger Should You Marry?” Eventually, I grew bored of these because I realized that whether I’m more like Liz Lemon or Jack Donaghy doesn’t actually make my life less boring. It seemed like most people felt the same way as I did, because these internet quizzes petered out around the same time I became disillusioned with them.

Then BuzzFeed happened.

Your inner potato is sad, because you were sad enough to take the Inner Potato quiz.

BuzzFeed, the internet purveyor of all things not really important to your life, recently began doing their own online quizzes in this same vein, including ones as asinine as, “What Is Your Inner Potato?” (The link is to prove I didn’t just come up with a terrible idea; someone else did.)  If the internet quiz hype continues at the astounding rate that BuzzFeed puts these quizzes out — I’m pretty sure they’re all done by a room of malnourished interns who are told they’ll only get food if they make a quiz every half hour — they’ll just get more and more moronic. In a perfect cycle of meta stupidity, BuzzFeed will probably make a “57 Worst BuzzFeed Personality Quizzes” later this year.

Despite my distaste for these quizzes, I also love to jump on the bandwagon and leech onto anything vaguely popular for all it’s worth, which is why I now present to you my own online quiz inspired by the mavin of terrible, lazy, and unnecessary food creations: Sandra Lee (post about her forthcoming).

Copyright Food Network and stuff.

Are you this monstrosity? Take the quiz to find out!

What Sandra Lee Cake Are You?

Be sure to share your results!


First off, I’m sorry. This is another list. I swear I’m not only going to be making lists, it just turns out lists are easier to do than longer posts where you truly tell a story and make an argument and I need to post something lickety-split! So there you go.

One thing I’ve always been reprimanded for by my parents was my inability to make smalltalk. As I explained it to them, this was actually sort of logical: I believe that you shouldn’t try to make smalltalk with people about their jobs or school or whatnot because people generally tell you about what’s important to them. I sort of also based this on the fact that when I first started college I was actually just doing it because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, so when people asked me about it my natural response was to growl. Unfortunately, doing things because they are logical don’t make them more socially acceptable. Right-o, Spock?

Logically, Greg is correct.

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