One man's attempt at literacy

Tag Archives: Cats

So, I’m trying to write a terrible novel for National Novel Writing Month. The purpose of this is to just belt out a 50k word novel in one month, and even without editing that takes a sizable chunk of time and your mental capacity. This is the first 1000 words. I’ll try to have a real blog later but for now deal with seeing something that was done quickly!

This will be the next great American novel! And it will be truly sad for America.

Continue reading


I’m traveling right now. Sort of. So I didn’t want to write a real post. So here are some wonderful things I’ve learned while in New York:

1) Everyone everywhere is boring. I learned this the first night when a group of two guys and a girl talked about the new foods they’d tried recently, including soft-serve frozen yogurt, Greek yogurt, and coconut water. Continue reading


I’m the last person to win American Idol! Didn’t know that? That’s not at all surprising…

Over the past decade, reality TV has become more and more prevalent, with such popular shows as American Idol, Top Chef, and The Real Crazy Bitches Housewives of [Rich Place]. The reason these have become so widely produced isn’t just that they are as popular as scripted shows, but also because they are damned cheap. Hugh Laurie’s salary of $700,000 per episode of House — which ended up being over $15 million per year — is more than enough to produce an entire reality television show.

Despite this, even reality TV is often tinged with opulence that most Americans can’t fathom, like the Bachelor(ette), wherein people travel to at least four different countries, staying in 5 star hotels and mansions, all the while being bombarded by romantic songs from famous but not exceptionally popular musicians — because, you know, that’s the only way people can fall in love. This sort of lavish lifestyle, while cheap for the network, is altogether still out of reach for anyone who isn’t in the 1%. Given this, I present to you reality television anyone could produce, AKA TV for the 99%, AKA Occupy Reality TV!!! Continue reading


My friend Maryann has recently decided she was a Cat Lady. Sort of.

Now, I’m not a cat lady person by any stretch of the mind, specifically because I am allergic to cats. Also, I have been in relationships. Actually, I’ve dated one guy three times so I guess that sort of makes me a slut. My oh-so-wonderful love life and my inability to withstand cat dander has led me to the belief that, maybe, I am something similar yet different; perhaps I am a Dog Lord.

The Nikita and I

Continue reading