As we are becoming a more self aware society, we constantly discuss poorly- or under-represented groups in the media. I myself have written about how, even as gay people have started having more positive characters, the vast majority of homosexuals in the media have been unintentionally negative stereotypes. If you read things about Doctor Who (you mean you DON’T read about people’s opinions on Doctor Who?!) you have probably seen an essay or two about how problematic and sexist female companions and the always-male Doctors are. And, of course, there are constantly issues with Latinos, Blacks, American Indians, Middle Easterners, Asians every ethnicity but whities on TV and in movies.

But the real, most misrepresented minority is so overlooked that they haven’t even been discussed in these injustices. I’m, obviously, talking about people who rarely seem to be main characters, instead being relegated to, at most, the sidekick. People who you see in real life every day but can go hours without seeing in movies or shows.

That’s right: glasses wearers. Foureyes. Um… Is there another disparaging word for glasses wearers? Because, if there is, pretend I’m saying it righttttt HERE.

Little House on the Prairie owns DIS

Let me mock you more, visually challenged girl! Mwhahaha!!!!

You get the idea.

As a glasses wearer, I have to strain my already strained eyes to find representations of glasses wearers in pop culture. Let’s start with my favorite show: 30 Rock. Who on that wears glasses? Firstly, Tina Fey — though she actually stops wearing them as much as time goes on. Why do you abandon your roots, Tina? Why don’t you embrace your identity? The other character on 30 Rock who wears glasses is Frank, the porn-addicted super nerd. That last bit will come up later. And that’s still only two of the seven main characters, and there are basically no supporting characters with glasses, either.

Next, let’s look at some other shows: Parks and Recreation, which is about government employees, has zero glasses wearers; Grey’s Anatomy, a show about doctors, has zero glasses wearers; and don’t even get me started on the CSI shows, which are about forensics specialists who seem to all be super models (also, I don’t watch CSI so some might wear glasses but I’m ranting so I can’t take the time to verify that!). The list goes on and on, and continues to be saddening.

How is it that there are so few people with spectacles in the media when national studies show that 64% of adults in America have eye wear? The answer, again, is staring you in the face, but you can’t see it — sort of like the proverbial person with a heavy correction who refuses to wear their glasses because they’re afraid of being labeled a nerd; if you wear glasses, you will be labeled a nerd!

Quiz Rocket's a thing?

Well, if the glasses fit…

To wear glasses is to be instantly considered both smarter and geekier, both of which are impediments to sex appeal. There is actual advice out there about how people should wear glasses to job interviews because they will look more competent. Somehow, having terrible eyesight is linked to having a bigger brain, as if the reason my eyes are awful is because my bulbous brain is protruding onto my optical orbs and causing them to malfunction. Similarly, when I prattle on about which Final Fantasy game is my favorite and why, people simply nod their heads and say, “Of course you can immediately list that! Your eyes are terrible, THUS you love video games.”

In the time of the war on women, the war on race, and the war on religion, the closest analog to addressing people’s differing perceptions of you based on whether or not you wear glasses is the issue of nerds vs. jocks. Because, OF COURSE, if you have glasses, you are a nerd — not bad eyesight — and if you don’t have glasses you are a meaty, meaty meathead — or, at best, a secret contacts wearer who wants to avoid being ridiculed as a nerd.

Clark Kent Super Man

“Well, Clark is super awkward, but that’s just ’cause he’s a dork.”

Think about it with one of the most famous characters in American pop culture: Superman. When he’s being awesome and saving the world he wears no glasses; when he is being a lame reporter and generally hiding his bad social skills, he is bespectacled.

And you also have the same with Peter Parker and Spiderman in the last completed movie trilogy (we’re talkin’ Tobey Maguire, here). When he’s a boring nerd at the start, he’s got glasses; then he gets bitten by a radioactive spider, and the ultimate way the director can illustrate his drastic physical improvements is GASP! He no longer needs corrective eye wear!!! Praise the lord, he is saved!

Rachael Leigh Cook

So. UGLY.

Or go back to CSI; the show is actually largely about nerds (“I can tell where his fruit soda came from based on the protein compositions in his milkshake, teehee!”), but they still can’t wear glasses because, as soon as they do, they lose their sex appeal. I mean, like, EVERYONE totes knows if you wear glasses you can only be cute, not sexy, duh! It’s the ultimate “She’s All That” scenario, where someone goes from being an unpopular geek to a super popular prom queen the moment they discard their useful eye wear, despite the fact they were Rachael Leigh Cook the entire time.

As a glasses wearer and a nerd, I must insist you respect my identities! No longer should my physical impediment be linked to my love of Doctor Who and Star Trek. The fact I happen to love geeky things and can very fairly be called a foureyes is pure happenstance, no more related than my lack of religion and my love of puppies.

With all these misrepresentations about glasses wearers, we as a culture need to discuss eye wear and what it actually means versus what it is symbolic for. Can someone do that? Anyone? Because I’m certainly not the one you want to lead a serious sociological discussion.

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