If you live in New York and aren’t ridiculously wealthy, you’ll have to get used to riding the subway. It’s a sad fact. Now, normally the subway isn’t that bad; hell, in the summer an air conditioned train can actually be a reprieve from the swamp that is Manhattan.

But there is one time when riding the subway is vaguely reminiscent of the apocalypse: rush hour. Just like the rush hour you might experience driving in LA, before and after normal work hours are the most dreaded parts of the day to travel, and in New York you get the added terror or public transportation~! Dun dun dun.

Me getting off at Times Square for brainsss

During these high-traffic times, people stop resembling humans so much as a horde of shambling corpses. And make no mistake,  you do indeed encounter a horde of people; as one song I discovered a few months ago, “The MTA (Manhattan Transit Authority) stands for Mother-******s Touching my Ass.” And the horde only grows from stop to stop. During doom hour, it’s not uncommon two people to exit the car at one stop and immediately be replaced by four more.

They’re coming faster than we can get rid of them!!!

If you ever wanted to see a group of desperate, angry people doing their best to not destroy each other, look no further then these rides from Hell; when the train slows some people groan, some grunt in anger, and some laugh anxiously. People swerve their eyes about wildly, like cows going to slaughter — or like people being surrounded by shambling corpses, about to have their juicy brains feasted on.

“No, please, help! If I don’t get on they’ll devour my succulent thinking meats!”

The last time I rode on the subway at this demonic time, I even saw one person struggling to get onto a train already packed to bursting, only to be pushed back by the people already inside, one of them saying, “You can’t get on!” I will remember that poor, lonely soul fondly.

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